How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
