how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
