If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
