Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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