hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
