So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I love you. Go after that dick
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
