You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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