So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
