I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
