Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
