You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My cat gives me a boner
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
