I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize