I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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