laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
