You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
