Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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