While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
