there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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