New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you would pick up someone in the library
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
my poor anus
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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