OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
