I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
high people should be assigned attendants
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I have aggressive nipples.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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