how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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