everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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