I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
