So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
