new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
