Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR

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(734): View more from Michigan

cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.

(630): View more from Illinois

if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me

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(847): View more from Illinois

he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again

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(206): View more from Washington

My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed

(630): View more from Illinois

Go me

(262): View more from Wisconsin

I'm actually proud

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