Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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