I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
