ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i permit you to call me
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
