Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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