More tranny stories later!
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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