Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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