i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
