Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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