both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
