im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
