He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
