were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
