It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
