My brain says no but my pants say off.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
