Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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