this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I cockslap morals
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
