pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
