Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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