i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
