i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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