I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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