They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
