Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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