I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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