So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
