"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
