i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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