I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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