U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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