we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
