yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
