We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
