I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
