I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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