My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
