apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I think your dad took our porno
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
