Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
