what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
