i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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