girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
