Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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